So much of my twenties & thirties felt like a haze. There was always so much to do – restaurants to try, clubs to go dancing at, stores to shop in, career ladders to climb.
Truthfully, there was a lot of busyness.
And the older I get, the more I find I am happiest with a simple life.
Yes, I still like to travel. Yes, I still enjoy a great meal and brunch with friends. Yes, I love to shop. But everything in life has become – more intentional.
If I’m going to travel somewhere, I want to really experience it – to settle in, relax and indulge in the little pleasures a place brings.
If I go out to eat, I want it to inspire and delight me. To taste the flavors like I’ve never tasted them before (I can still remember the warm, sweet juiciness of a tomato as it burst open in my mouth at a tiny restaurant in Barcelona… sigh).
And honestly, I don’t shop much anymore. Gone are the days in my twenties when I would leave Forever 21 with (sorry to say) 8 bags in hand – clothing to be recycled or donated soon after.
Now, I curate my wardrobe. I know what I like, what fits well on my body, the fabrics I want, what feels good on my skin.
What I’ve come to realize is that fewer really is better. Less really is more. What I have – is enough. And what I deeply want, is what really matters.
And what I want is depth – nourishment, community, connection. Meaningful, authentic conversations. Dinners that go deep into the night – where the company is as good as the food. Real friendship that can hold the highs and the lows – the utmost pain and (because we’ve been there) – the joy, lightness, and play.
Truthfully, I don’t think I’m missing out. I’ve been reflecting lately on the age gap between myself and the Gen-Z’ers who I am now old enough to lead and mentor (when did this happen?). How I perceived people older than me when I was their age (in not always the most flattering light, to be honest). I swore I would never be ‘stuck in my ways’, or stubborn, or not want to learn something new.
And what I’ve realized is, it’s okay. I don’t care to be that age anymore – to stumble around, searching for myself. If I want to learn something new, it’s because it lights me up. If I am stuck in a pattern or routine, I can choose to look at it – if it serves me. Or I can accept it – as a part of who I am. Either way, I choose. Time – and life – have given me the wisdom to do that.
The thing I’ve come to learn especially over the last 5 or 6 years, is that there’s grace in this transition. The transition from young adult – and caring so much about what the world around me thinks – to an adult, who cares a little less – to a maven, who knows herself well enough to understand that what others think simply doesn’t matter quite so much.
I actually think we’re lucky that we get to experience life this way. Not knowing what’s ahead – that the road is winding and the next step may not be clear. That the next great adventure could be now – or 10 years from now (and that life, while short – is long too). That discovering our selves is an excavation, and there are many things we may not want to look at. But when we do, wow – oh wow, there is so much goodness there.
Eight years ago, I found myself at one of those turns in the road when a long-term relationship ended and the life I had known – ended with it. I had lost myself in that relationship and looking back, had shown up as who I thought I should be instead of who I actually was. It wasn’t fair to my partner – and it wasn’t fair to me. And it was in the leaving – and learning how to be on my own – that I began to figure out who I really was.
In that time alone, I began to discover the parts of myself that I hadn’t been able to claim before. The parts that said: ‘this is me, this is my life, this is what I love, this is who I am. This is what I need, and this is what is important to me.’ It was in that space that I began to re-build my foundation. To ‘build my bones’ and a new home – one inside, that I could always return to. I learned how to come back to me.
And that is essence of life, right? To come back to ourselves, so we can show up as we truly are.
Because who we are at our core, can never be lost.
So, even if life continues to twist & turn, even if it offers challenges along the way, even if the road ahead is unclear – even when it asks: are you sure you know? Are you sure this is right? Are you sure this is enough?
You can answer – yes. Simply, yes. This is enough. I am enough.
Estimated reading time: 5 minutes
