Peri/menopause has so many symptoms. Your gynecologist and primary doctor will probably talk with you about the most common symptoms. Maybe you have a great doc who will take time to really talk through your experiences with you. But chances are, they won’t touch on one major part of you that changes. Something you use every day, whether you’re in the privacy of your home or in a workplace or out with friends or at the gym.
Of course, hot flashes are the hallmark of this time of life, and sometimes appear with their cousin, night sweats. We also hear about insomnia, dry skin, loss of muscle tone, and period changes. But chances are, you won’t hear about the changes that happen to your voice.
You might notice that you have an urge to clear your throat more often. Or your voice doesn’t show up for you the way you’re used to: maybe it sticks or catches, or it feels gravelly instead of smooth. It’s just not there for you, the way it used to be.
Your voice is your identity.
Your voice isn’t just sound waves carrying words to others’ ears. The sound of your voice is the culmination of your life experiences: dialects and word choices influenced by the places you’ve lived. Inflection and pitch range from the culture you’ve embraced (and rejected). Your unique voice is a primary means of expressing your ideas, your passions, your knowledge.
Like losing libido, what does it mean for you, as a person, when your voice changes? When you lose the ease of expression that you rely on to connect with your colleagues, family, and friends? And more importantly, how can you reclaim it?
Thanks to the rise of visibility and more people talking about perimenopause, it’s pretty common to hear about everything drying out. Yep, your skin needs more lotion, your eyes need drops, you drink more water, and your OBGYN recommends lube. But consider this: not only do those tender folds of pleasure dry out, but also the tender folds of your voice box. Is drinking more water enough? Not quite.
Your vocal cords are thin, delicate tissues, and they lose elasticity in perimenopause, just like your skin and muscles do. So, in addition to caring for your muscles by eating more protein and lifting weights, your voice needs a little workout, too. (Don’t worry, we’re talking small adjustments, not a huge time commitment.)
Aging doesn’t have to weaken your ability to communicate.
Voice teachers around the world in their 70’s and 80’s have voices that are not only strong, they’re melodious, mellifluous. Their voices aren’t weak or creaky or hard to hear. They command the room with rich resonance and warm, round tones. They are heard easily, without pushing for volume.
In fact, now that you’re in the prime of your life, you have more worth saying. Your experience has given you wisdom worth hearing. So how can you reclaim your voice? How can you expand your ability to express yourself?
The answer, like so many things in midlife, is to take a little more care of yourself. Yes, drink more water and (try your best to) get a good night’s sleep.
But you can also go right to the source. Address the problem where it lives: in your vocal anatomy. Just as we need to exercise our muscles more to maintain their tone, the same is true for your voice.
Vocal care is self care.
Reclaiming your vocal power isn’t about fighting the aging process, it’s about giving your body the support it needs to express your ideas and emotions with your full self. A few quick additions to your daily routine can make a world of difference in how your voice feels and sounds all day long. Here are three touchpoints during your day to support your voice.
Start with 2 minutes in the morning.
Instead of hurtling from sleep to full-voice speaking, wake up your voice gently. You can do these while you’re in the shower or fixing your coffee, without adding minutes to your morning routine.
- Start with yawning. Yawning is for your voice like stretching before a workout. It opens the interior spaces that create resonance. It reminds your jaw how to fully open. (If you have TMJ or if you clench or grind at night, put your fist below your chin to create a little resistance when you yawn. This keeps the jaw aligned and prevents over-extending the jaw.) And bonus, yawning gets your breath moving deeper into your lungs, reminding your body how much breath capacity you really have. As you yawn, give your body a stretch, too. Doesn’t matter how, just whatever feels good to you. For example, raise your arms above your head like a cartoon yawning; open your chest; round your back; roll your wrists or flex your feet.
- Lightly hum. Put your lips together and with your teeth apart, and let a gentle hum happen. It can be a sighing hmmm or it can be an easy little tune that you make up. The important thing is to keep it easy. Don’t push into your highest or lowest notes, and don’t try to make it loud. This little hum is just for you.
- Wake up your face. Stretch your lips forward into a kiss and back into a wide smile, back and forth a few times. Pretend to chew a big bite of your favorite food. Pucker up your whole face, squeezing your eyes tight, then open eyes and mouth wide and stick out your tongue on an exhale. Sometimes we hold our breath with effort, but keep breathing as you do these to maximize the good effects.
Practice with mid-day tips.
Whether you sit at a desk for a while without speaking, or you’re speaking throughout your day, your voice will want a reset now and then. If you’re talking a lot, you may feel fatigue. If you’re not speaking at all, you may find your voice has “gone to sleep” and needs to wake up again. Here are a few tips to make sure your voice is focused and steady.
- Fully inhale before you speak. It seems like you wouldn’t have to remind your body that it needs air, but so many of us start speaking without the support that a deep breath gives us. Think of your lungs as a gas tank. Do you try to speak on a half tank? Quarter? Eighth? Aim for filling your lungs ¾ full or more before you begin to speak.
- Aim your voice.Touch your fingertip tothat space just below your nose and above your upper lip (the philtrum). If your voice doesn’t feel smooth coming out, or if people can’t hear you, think of your voice like a laser beam, traveling out through that spot toward the person/people you’re talking with.
Add 60 seconds to your nighttime routine.
It might seem ridiculous to prep your voice for sleep, but your voice likes a cool-down just as much as your muscles do after a workout. Just add this to your bedtime routine. This is simple, easy, soothing and you can do it when you’re already in bed!
- Face massage. A gentle massage for those muscles that have been creating your facial expressions all day. You can pat, tap, or make gentle circles with your fingertips. Be sure to give a little attention to the muscles in the jaw hinge, just in front of your earlobes.
- Sigh. Nothing tricky here, just take in a deep breath and sigh it out on a gentle “ahhh.” If you’re inspired to, let it turn into a yawn or add full-body stretches. You can also let your sighs end in a hum.
By weaving these gentle practices into your daily routines, vocal care becomes second nature, like brushing your teeth. When you care for your voice a little bit every day, that investment pays off every time you speak.
Midlife changes often feel like an onslaught of surprises happening to you. Vocal care is something proactive that you can do for yourself. Taking care of your voice honors the instrument that carries your story. It helps you ensure that your presence stays as vibrant as your experience. And it just plain feels good, too. Luxuriate in little moments of caring for your voice, and enjoy the fuller range of sound that lets you communicate with ease.
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
