The Blog

Yet another ad showing women with impossibly long, lean physiques popped up in my Instagram feed. Given that I was carrying over well 200 pounds on my 5’6″ frame and struggling to walk a mile, this wasn’t a reflection of my current hobbies or interests. Those women always looked so confident and graceful. I caught myself thinking they must have been born that way, which triggered my common sense “Oh, no, you don’t” alarm. I know they worked for that look, or at least most of them did. If I applied myself, I might start to look like that too. What’s that George R.R. Martin saying: The night is long and filled with terrors? I put my mental right-turn blinker on and decided to give it a shot.

I dug around for information, and the two words that were repeated constantly were Yoga and Pilates. Many women I admired online were either heavily into one or both. I’d tried all kinds of yoga before, including hatha and vinyasa, and never felt as enlightened physically as the instructors seemed to expect at the end of a session. By default, it was time to try Pilates and see if it was the answer. The worst possible outcome was discomfort, soreness, and embarrassment, and that was already part of my daily routine of being a heavier person.

More research led me to a Pilates instructor about thirty minutes from my home in Santa Monica. She was very experienced in working with people who were higher-weights, had injuries, or other limitations. Since she offered a single introductory session and worked out of a private studio, there was no concern about committing and no reason to be embarrassed.

On the day we agreed to meet, I found the address and stared up a long, steep flight of stairs that separated the street level from her studio. I knew I would be exhausted, even using both hands, trying to get up that flight of stairs. Once again, that pesky “Oh, no, you don’t” alarm went off. There was no use in getting to the outer door and not going in. Try it tired. Just try it.

On the second level, the instructor greeted me warmly at the door. She invited me to sit on what looked like a huge wooden torture device with a black bench attached and asked me about my fitness level, injuries, and goals. She assured me that Pilates is well-suited for beginners and that I would see an improvement over time. Since she looked exactly like the group of women in the photo that brought me to this space, I chose to believe her.

We went through a series of exercises faster than I thought I could do any exercise at all. The instructor went over the names of the tools, which, once I was on them, looked less like torture devices and more like welcome help. Grab the bar, use this block, lift, twist, hold, and rest. Repeat. By the time the very first session was over, I felt more confident in the moves we were doing. I considered it a bonus that there wasn’t any new pain from the attempt. Miraculously, I was only mildly sore, in the way you are when you move differently.

Leaving the studio, I couldn’t help but think, ‘Hey, pilates is cool.’ I was hooked after just one session. Over the next several months, I worked with that instructor on my balance, posture, and strength. Did I lose weight? Not really. But did I get stronger and see a difference in my body? Absolutely. Looking back at all the things I’d tried over the years: yoga, weights, spinning, dance, and a slew of forgettable classes, the difference I saw in my body through Pilates was the most profound. It was a relief to find something that not only worked but also felt comfortable and right for me.

My instructor planned to relocate with her adorable family to Nashville around the same time I was scheduled to return to New York City. She helped me select a New York instructor so I could continue my practice. The idea of quitting had become inconceivable in just a few short months.

My journey with Pilates is far from over. I’m committed to getting stronger and leaner. I may never look as impossibly long and lean as the women in that Instagram post, but I look and feel better than ever before. Like those women, I’m confident now and sometimes even graceful. Pilates has become a part of my life, and I’m excited to see where this ongoing fitness journey takes me.